Companion

Another piece from This is your life:

In any case, I wasn't on my own any more. Now I lived with the beautiful Betty. Betty was young and happy and loved me with all her heart. If she hadn't been a Border collie she might have been the answer to all my problems. She was, however, a constant companion for me - wherever I was in the house, she wanted to be there too. I drew the line at allowing her into the toilet with me, so while I sat on the lavatory she lay on the floor outside with her nose pressed against the crack at the bottom of the floor, snuffling and inhaling deeply for any clues as to what I might be doing in there. For the first couple of years, I'd also had a rule that Betty was not allowed into my bedroom at night. My reasoning had been that no woman I brought home would feel particularly inclined to throw aside her inhibitions and embark upon a wild night of naked sexual passion while a Border collie sat there watching, wagging her tail and barking at sudden movements. At some point I have realised that the absence of a voyeuristic panting sheepdog in my boudoir was not making much difference either way, and so now Betty was permitted to sleep in the same room as me."

mwhahahhaha.